True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Less talking, more tequila
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
please don't ironically join a cult
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