I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We are two peas in an std pod
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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