i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
