I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize