New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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