the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
