did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
