he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
