I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
