HIV tests are more positive than that guy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just had sex on a roof
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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