wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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