Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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