I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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