hotel room ftw
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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