you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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