Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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