mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
