You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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