Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
