3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My boob is missing a layer of skin
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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