I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
