yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
