Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
