hotel room ftw
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this will be a night to untag.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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