508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish I only lived at night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
