Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
