just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
