I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
