Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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