apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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