I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
