he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
