508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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