i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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