All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
