You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dick very happy bro
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
