i just google imaged poop.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
