All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
