WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
