grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
