About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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