Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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