I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
