apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
