I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
