Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
