Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
