gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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