i need an iv and a liver transplant
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
