It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
