Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize