whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
