i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize