saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
