birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
