dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
