Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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