I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
