well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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