Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He better not be in your backpack
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize