YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
